I swear, some mornings I wake up at 4:30 and it is like Georg (or something) won’t let me go back to sleep unless I get up and write. I’m not sure what to write about, but here is what is coming up so I will plunge in and say what is on my mind and in my heart.
There was very sad news yesterday. A young woman in our community left us, her name: Elli Westfall (1995-2014). A large group of friends gathered at the International Peace Pole in Sheboygan in the cold last night to light candles, say prayers and remember her.
I remember Elli because one year, quite some time ago, she played the most beautiful angel in the Christmas Story at church. I don’t know why, but she and I were standing on the balcony together, awaiting some cue. I just remember she was gorgeous and filled with a lovely kind of light. I wish I had known her better.
My son told me that Elli was his “bus buddy” at school when he was in kindergarten. That was over a decade ago. He remembers her kindness.
At the candlelight vigil last night, Elli’s dad said this: “Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. This is not religion or philosophy, it’s physics.” I have been thinking about this a lot since Georg died. I do think it is true. The energy of each person who comes and goes continues, no matter what happens to that person here on the physical plane.
Still , it is hard to bear, this absence from the physical.
Yesterday, I got copies of a book that a couple of my poems appear in, and I actually thought, “I need to give one of these to Georg.” It wasn’t a whole thought. It was half a thought. The beginning of a thought, an inkling of a thought going in the direction of a thought. I knew as soon as I thought the first word of my thought that what I was in the process of thinking is not possible. He is not here.
Or is he? I mean, he is apparently still very much alive inside me. So, who knows.
My heart goes out to Elli’s mom, dad, sister, and all of her friends, family, associates, and acquaintances. I only knew her a little bit, but I knew her as an angel here on earth and her beauty, light, and kindness live on now in all of us whom she touched.